We write haikus, not love songs

On the occasion of a new exercise regiment.

2011-01-11T21:25:00.001-05:00

one hundred push-ups,
yet I can only do one,
aching arms to come.

On the occasion of focusing the lights in an 18' tall store.

2011-01-11T21:23:00.001-05:00

new found vertigo
when atop a tall ladder
sucks when changing lamps

On the occasion of post brunch club walk around the city.

2011-01-11T21:20:00.003-05:00

aching feet, cold toes,
belly full of of food and drink,
giddy for next week.

On the occasion of moisturizing skin in the winter with Ahava

2009-03-03T10:38:00.001-05:00

Israeli cream to
battle dry skin. I smell warmth
but I freeze my butt off

On the occasion of someone criticizing, anonymously!

2009-02-27T15:28:00.002-05:00

Consider my mood
before saying "boo", my mood
sucks, I'll cut you! Yeah!

On the occasion of waking up on the wrong side of the bed.

2009-02-27T11:46:00.004-05:00

Guess who flipped a shit
over the unchanged TP?
Jumped on Snook in rage.

I think I'll spend the
weekend inventing a new
infinite TP.

(a side note - in writing this haiku, I discovered we have tagged a haiku with toilets before. At least we're consistent)

On the occassion of heckling from my fellow bloggers

2009-02-26T19:13:00.003-05:00

first break of the day
email is full of haikus
pressure to respond

haikus not flowing
instead images of lights
overwhelm my brain

on the occasion of excuses

2009-02-26T11:23:00.000-05:00

Light, shine upon us.
Class is a piddling excuse.
Just post by email.

On the occasion of taking one for the team

2009-02-26T11:13:00.002-05:00

Cesca is in class
Playing with wires, lightbulbs,
She'll get this and smile

on the occassion of a missing blogger

2009-02-26T11:11:00.000-05:00

where is francesca
its less fun to post online
i could just tell em

on the occassion of late night tv

2009-02-26T11:06:00.002-05:00

one more verboten
cannot watch survivorman
hopped up on jaguars

On the economy & PBS

2009-02-26T10:52:00.003-05:00

Watched Frontline about
Summer financial meltdown,
now I feel tweaky.

No late-night X-files
is a good rule. Let's add things
like this to the list.

On the occasion of someone trying to get into our elite club

2009-02-25T15:50:00.001-05:00

Your app was received
We will put it to a vote
Thanks for your patience!

on the occasion of a new writer?

2009-02-25T15:29:00.002-05:00

to let michelle in?
another poet to join?
attached is her plea:

dishes i will wash
pyramids i will build high
oh what must one do

This damned rash.

2009-01-27T16:45:00.000-05:00

Should have returned you
cheap cashmere blend. You gave me
a hot scary rash.

on the subject of email:

2009-01-27T16:31:00.002-05:00

cleaned out my inbox

found so many old haikus

wished that i found more.

Rusty return to Haikus

2008-08-03T19:36:00.001-04:00

Speed limit six five
Bus going two
More traffic ahead

Drunk girl on the bus
Yell, shriek, can't get any sleep
Hope she doesn't blow

Finally able
To stop long enough to write
Rusty strained Haikus

On waiting for polly for brunch

2008-05-17T11:59:00.001-04:00

Outside Balthazar.
More French than English, why don't
They eat this at home???

we are not alone...

2008-05-15T21:02:00.000-04:00

http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/05/15/font-haiku.html

On my final tonight

2008-05-08T17:12:00.000-04:00

Hiding in bathroom.
Can't remember Dewey, I
Want to run and hide.

Missive from 59th street

2008-05-06T18:04:00.000-04:00

Woman eating so
Much Indian food. Smelly
And dirty in here.

On the smells of spring

2008-04-23T18:08:00.000-04:00

blossoming Cuntwood
my nostrils filled with its stink.
missing Smith in Spring

because I'm tired of doing homework and my boyfriend said he wasn't eaten by lions but he isn't calling me back so I'm not sure I believe him

2008-04-21T23:03:00.001-04:00

Just wrote a "paper"
It's a huge load of bullshit
and I just don't care

Snook home tomorrow
Have to write another one.
Done before he's home?

A tableau from the subway

2008-04-17T18:19:00.000-04:00

Shouts on the one train
Gaggle of tranny hookers!
Vogueing in the crowd.

On the occasion of eating out

2008-04-12T22:00:00.000-04:00

Saw scotty sniffles
So many new ro all stars
Random tall Scott

On the open house for the next two years

2008-04-10T15:37:00.000-04:00

Excited and dazed
Ready to give up two years
Who really needs sleep

On today's activities

2008-04-10T11:41:00.001-04:00

Sean: I made the omelet
It was so tasty. Cesca:
how is class going?

On what happens when the luky star bus doesn't stop at Century Buffet

2008-04-09T19:55:00.000-04:00

Just couldn't hold it.
So much shaking, almost fell
In the gross toilet

On the practice of flexibility

2008-04-09T19:11:00.000-04:00

Flexibility
I'm told this I must improve
But oh what a test!

Earlier start date,
New temp apartment,
Less time to prepare

Still now I sit calm
The changes will be much fun,
Taking it in stride

On our breif flirt with popularity

2008-04-08T13:53:00.003-04:00

Nine hundred hits - All
in one day. Woah. Too bad the
poem was banal.

No mention of poop,
butt holes, or tranny hookers.
Just a simple "hi!"

Perhaps one day we
can generate those numbers
But I'm ok with not.

On wanting to be found by Chris

2008-04-05T21:56:00.001-04:00

Haiku just for Chris
Will his new site pick this up?
Hi there, how are you?

On a random ride on the subway

2008-04-03T17:06:00.001-04:00

Forgot to mention
Caught a woman checking out
My shoes on B train

Winking and making
Faces at them. I caught her.
Weird. She looked ashamed.

On watching our favorite TV show

2008-03-31T21:40:00.002-04:00

Hidden plaster lathe.
Damn! Screwed again, Trethewey!
Watching This Old House.

Sean wrote this. But I
Wrote this. "Screwed Again..." one day
will be our band name.

On a Christopher Street Triumph

2008-03-27T07:22:00.002-04:00

Lease renewal came
No tears this year, just giggles
Yes, we're staying here

So psyched - close to school
vogueing gay boys, pride parade
Christopher Street = love

Sean: too lazy, cheap
to move - I say doors are so
overrated. Woo!

On things people search and find this blog.

2008-03-25T21:23:00.003-04:00

Search "suck a tampax"
and you'll find this blog. I must've
written a gross one!

On what will happen if Em doesn't get her fix

2008-03-25T12:39:00.003-04:00

images of Em
covered in Pinkberry goo
carted off to jail

On being nosy at work

2008-03-24T17:05:00.002-04:00

A coworker reads
"The Daily Kitteh." Post says:
Shaboo getting better!

on the occasion of baby easter

2008-03-24T13:20:00.001-04:00

Three babies had we.
not up to cesca's four, but
does an 8 year count?

On how I spent my easter sunday

2008-03-24T12:50:00.001-04:00

baby filled easter
four to be exact, chasing
pets and plastic eggs

On sitting on 34th street after midnight

2008-03-19T00:20:00.000-04:00

Waiting for three years
For parade of pachyderms
I am so bundled!!

On the outlook of this long weekend in Miami

2008-03-15T00:46:00.003-04:00

Miami weekend

staying in house with nine cats

bet on allergies

On ongoing DOT misery

2008-03-13T22:52:00.001-04:00

DOT guys shout
"honey!" "Sweetheart!" I want to
say: "Shut the fuck up!!!!!"

On the occasion of company meetings

2008-03-13T22:48:00.000-04:00

At today's meeting
Champagne, chocolate strawberrys
New millions in bank

On tonight's Christopher Street shitshow

2008-03-13T22:41:00.000-04:00

Sirens, rock music
jackhammers top it off. Fuck
you, DOT. DIE!!!!!

I have a headache
Snookie's got a cold. I miss
the vogue-ing gay teens!

Redefining loud
please go away, have to work
early tomorrow.

On the occassion of manual labor

2008-03-13T22:40:00.000-04:00

Staring for hours
Watching construction workers
Like ants scurrying

2008-03-13T22:35:00.000-04:00

Jack hammers tonight
Perhaps new asphault will show
Shiny street in morn?

it equals 17 syllables, ok? That counts.

2008-03-13T12:21:00.001-04:00

Walking home from class
Left Gaska a voicemail -
Don't call me, call Cesca!

Damnit Cesca, why does your name have two syllables?

The haiku I tried to mail to the blog and failed

2008-03-09T20:22:00.000-04:00

On a Saturday evening:

Shake shack has heat lamps
Madison park has wifi
My life is so good!

On the occasion of culinary edumification

2008-03-09T00:35:00.000-05:00

No that guy in class
Thats ok, it's the teacher.
Cooking class tonight

Wait. HB's the one
Won't shut the f up
Like everyone else

Chef jane had some
Aphorisoms for us
They went as follows

Curry is evil!
Tamarind is obnoxious!
Broiler's terrorist!

On being recruited into the Smithie blogosphere

2008-03-08T23:47:00.002-05:00

Smithieblogs love us
Anyone have objections?
I'm down with it!

Sean says "not Smithie"
I say you've been banging me
long enough. It counts.

The light at the end of the tunnel

2008-03-06T12:03:00.001-05:00

Nine more hours, then
Done with midterms, no more work
Til its finals time

On an unexpected twist in my library school midterm

2008-03-04T16:40:00.002-05:00

Prof said no name on
midterm - I thought no grade - wrong!
Need to cram tonight!

My boss says don't worry
But I realized something - You
can take the girl out

Of Smith, but you can't
take the striver out of the
Smithie. Word, bitches.

In celebration of my favorite Venezuelan

2008-03-03T11:19:00.001-05:00

Coming to Parson's
Parties and pretty lights. YAY!
Cesca's coming here!

On the joys of gay male youth

2008-02-29T12:46:00.001-05:00

to be a gay boy
hopeful, horny and cocky
in more ways than one

On the occasion of Snook getting to leave work early because his building is not a NYC landmark & kinda died inside

2008-02-25T13:30:00.002-05:00

Lucky Snooker - his
office is busted - lucky!
went home to play wii

On the occasion of Sean revealing that he's been attacked by swarms of ladybugs

2008-02-19T15:51:00.002-05:00

Snook, attacked by bugs
Red with black dots, envision:
attacked by cuteness

This one goes out to Cesca...

2008-02-18T15:14:00.001-05:00

Where is my new pet?
The Pats lost, and you promised
Me a chinch - pay up!

Because I work on holidays...

2008-02-18T14:00:00.001-05:00

To Whole Foods for lunch
Tuna-Pasta casserole
Chapin reminder.

On remembering last night's dream

2008-02-16T15:21:00.001-05:00

Dreamed of Emily
Lost her legs in surgery
And became a dwarf

Not a haiku for the squeamish.

2008-02-08T14:33:00.000-05:00

Yeast in my P and
some blood and Tampax too. It's
fun to be a girl!

On what people hear when I say my name

2008-02-07T10:13:00.000-05:00

grande latte please
your name?, Francesca
Latte for Chestnut

On being one of those political rally dorks

2008-02-05T15:32:00.000-05:00

a mile long line
he better be worth the wait
shiver in the cold

all alone in line
ditched for heat and food, I stay,
hoping to get in

Patrick, Kerry, Ted
and Caroline Kennedy
spoke for Obama

happy supporters
all pumped with idealism
to vote the next day

Written for my boss

2008-02-05T13:51:00.000-05:00

Who's having computer trouble:

Ode to Bill Gates:

Who you do think you
are, Mister Big stuff? You suck.
and you smell like soup.

Your product’s a mess,
you’re as cool as hammerpants.
wish you had ipod?

We look down on your
computers, they break too much
they’re worth less than poo.

I can haz raise for using "hammerpants" in a haiku? Kthxbye

On a Giants victory

2008-02-04T07:44:00.000-05:00

Made a drunken bet,
Cesca owes me a chinch, but
I'll still take her out

On Friday nights

2008-02-01T17:50:00.000-05:00

Ten minutes left here
All my friends went home at five
Seconds are dragging.

on the occasion of poetry

2008-02-01T17:12:00.000-05:00

&~
;{
-^+

50 hakiu points
to whoever figures it
hint: sticks to the rules.

Retaliation

2008-02-01T16:51:00.000-05:00

Cesca smells like soup;
weird dimple, runny nose, and
I still really love her.

On how I feel when Em haikus about sucking her own butt hole

2008-02-01T16:47:00.001-05:00

emily is gross
picks her butt, her teeth, her nose
still I love her so

On this afternoon's busy work

2008-01-31T17:36:00.000-05:00

Logging tape makes me
want to suck my own butt hole.
Still more fun than class.

On wierd work etiquette

2008-01-30T16:42:00.000-05:00

Why do people feel
the need to pluck their chin hairs
in the work bathroom?

On submitting my application

2008-01-30T13:57:00.000-05:00

application in
now the waiting begins, back
to knitting and wii

On starting Monday densely

2008-01-28T09:03:00.000-05:00

Metro Diary,
First entry makes no sense, why?
Must be too tired.

But on a fun note,
This is the one hundredth post
We're haiku masters!

on the occasion of dialog box editing

2008-01-22T19:58:00.000-05:00

computer. it says
fuck that not cancel, OK.
but how to test it

On the occasion of new jeans

2008-01-22T15:07:00.000-05:00

Washed my new jeans, but
my hands still turn blue, so gross.
Wrote this on toilet.

on the occasion of imbibing

2008-01-21T01:59:00.000-05:00

even sicky drank
the homemade lemoncello
at the restaurant.

on the occasion of cat boxing

2008-01-20T18:31:00.000-05:00

taco vs meatball
are you ready to rumbleeeeeee?
tiny boxing gloves!

on the occasion of digital sadness

2008-01-19T20:35:00.000-05:00

crying self to sleep
guitar hero so lonely
cause cesca's not friends

OOO-DON

2008-01-15T12:09:00.000-05:00

Lunch at CNN
Special: Make your own udon.
No screaming into phone.

on the occassion of guwiitar hero

2008-01-14T00:12:00.000-05:00

cesca. come here soon.
but you must bring the guitar.
cuz battle mode sucks

because I can.

2008-01-13T16:38:00.000-05:00

winter uniform:
no pants and legwarmers. I
feel so eighties. Yeah!!

Asher came on our couch

2008-01-12T17:55:00.000-05:00

Asher, that's so gross
Napped on our couch, got up - EW!
he left a cum stain!

on the occassion of a visit from asher

2008-01-12T17:15:00.000-05:00

puppy on the floor
so close to sleep, but now barks
will the whines not cease?

Wow, Cesca. Just wow.

2008-01-11T13:26:00.001-05:00

Cesca's a big nerd.
But I still love her. Also love:
My new leg warmers.

On why I look tired

2008-01-11T13:19:00.000-05:00

Wii-tar obsession
up till three to beat battle
fingers, wrists in pain

inspired by an IM to Sean

2008-01-10T17:00:00.000-05:00

My ankles - they ache
Want to put on my warners
One more hour til home.

Dull haiku for dull evening plans

2008-01-10T16:41:00.000-05:00

going to theatre
to focus lights for a show
then home to my bed

Because he said so

2008-01-10T16:40:00.000-05:00

Snook says jump - therefore
I do. A poem about wii?
No. Just leg warmers.

I got new ones. Yay!
They're a little cashmere. Warm.
Good for the smankles.

on the occasion of MORE

2008-01-10T16:34:00.000-05:00

More haikus needed
get up off of your asses
and post some poems

on a too-long haitus

2008-01-07T12:27:00.000-05:00

Triumpant return!
Sadness a long hiatus.
Now - regular posts

On why I need to go get lunch

2008-01-07T12:21:00.000-05:00

banana, yogurt,
clementine, and some water
do not a meal make

on the sad truth about vacations....

2008-01-07T12:15:00.000-05:00

two week holiday
passes so quickly, dismay
back at work today

On finding a book of poems written by Cesca in '92-'93

2007-12-20T12:47:00.001-05:00

This is priceless and humiliating. Upon returning to my parent's house I found the self-bound laminated book of pomes written by my 5th grade self in '92-'93. The book is titled "These are my feelings", and on the cover I drew the earth as a heart instead of a globe. I share these extra embarrassing details because it's too funny not to. So here are the three haikus I included in that precious volume.

I dream of dragons
so high in the blue heavens
that fight with no power

they started from seeds
now they're grown up and they're trees
they will never die

and my favorite...... (even though I just realized that I didn´t even stick to 5/7/5)

It's like a jail here
but it's not a crime cell
It's only about love

On the really vivid dream I had last night

2007-12-20T07:31:00.001-05:00

Dressed in white, oh my.
What a dream I had last night.
Wedding bells did ring

As I am sitting home alone on my couch writing my paper

2007-12-04T15:49:00.000-05:00

So few posts this week,
Please, guys, help me, won't you? Need
to procrastinate

On the occasion of writing my first research paper in 3 years

2007-12-01T09:54:00.000-05:00

Love the Internet
J-Stor, you're the bomb. Research.
Never leave my couch.

Irony: Master's
in Library Science, but
I hate libraries.

Pajamas, blankets
Writing is better this way.
No fluorescent light.

But one thing is changed:
No laptop farm. Sad.
Chapin, I miss you!

Cesca's tour

2007-11-29T16:21:00.000-05:00

Cesca, in awe, saw all
AC taping, lights galore
Whoops! Locked in a set!

On the occasion of Cesca arriving to pick up my house keys

2007-11-29T14:35:00.000-05:00

Cesca's coming here
Got permission to give tour
Will hit overload.

On this particular jaunt to New York

2007-11-29T13:17:00.001-05:00

Replying from bus
Nothing fun, odd to report
Will be there by three

Em I do promise
No parties or mess I'll make
Keys are safe with me

One more for the road
Three haikus to match dear Em
But not about much

On the occasion of Cesca's overnight visit

2007-11-29T12:14:00.000-05:00

Random Thursday night
Cesca on Christopher Street
Reading this on bus?

Picking up my keys
Better not throw a party
I tidied for you!

List of sanctioned things:
Naps, TV, Email, wii. Dont:
get locked out please. Thanks

On staying late & trying to be efficient

2007-11-27T21:05:00.000-05:00

I'm working til ten
Try to get my review done
My eyes quit at six