Rusty return to Haikus

Speed limit six five
Bus going two
More traffic ahead

Drunk girl on the bus
Yell, shriek, can't get any sleep
Hope she doesn't blow

Finally able
To stop long enough to write
Rusty strained Haikus

On waiting for polly for brunch

Outside Balthazar.
More French than English, why don't
They eat this at home???

we are not alone...

http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/05/15/font-haiku.html

On my final tonight

Hiding in bathroom.
Can't remember Dewey, I
Want to run and hide.

Missive from 59th street

Woman eating so
Much Indian food. Smelly
And dirty in here.

On the smells of spring

blossoming Cuntwood
my nostrils filled with its stink.
missing Smith in Spring

because I'm tired of doing homework and my boyfriend said he wasn't eaten by lions but he isn't calling me back so I'm not sure I believe him

Just wrote a "paper"
It's a huge load of bullshit
and I just don't care

Snook home tomorrow
Have to write another one.
Done before he's home?

A tableau from the subway

Shouts on the one train
Gaggle of tranny hookers!
Vogueing in the crowd.

On the occasion of eating out

Saw scotty sniffles
So many new ro all stars
Random tall Scott

On the open house for the next two years

Excited and dazed
Ready to give up two years
Who really needs sleep

On today's activities

Sean: I made the omelet
It was so tasty. Cesca:
how is class going?

On what happens when the luky star bus doesn't stop at Century Buffet

Just couldn't hold it.
So much shaking, almost fell
In the gross toilet

On the practice of flexibility

Flexibility
I'm told this I must improve
But oh what a test!

Earlier start date,
New temp apartment,
Less time to prepare

Still now I sit calm
The changes will be much fun,
Taking it in stride

On our breif flirt with popularity

Nine hundred hits - All
in one day. Woah. Too bad the
poem was banal.

No mention of poop,
butt holes, or tranny hookers.
Just a simple "hi!"

Perhaps one day we
can generate those numbers
But I'm ok with not.

On wanting to be found by Chris

Haiku just for Chris
Will his new site pick this up?
Hi there, how are you?

On a random ride on the subway

Forgot to mention
Caught a woman checking out
My shoes on B train

Winking and making
Faces at them. I caught her.
Weird. She looked ashamed.

On watching our favorite TV show

Hidden plaster lathe.
Damn! Screwed again, Trethewey!
Watching This Old House.

Sean wrote this. But I
Wrote this. "Screwed Again..." one day
will be our band name.

On a Christopher Street Triumph

Lease renewal came
No tears this year, just giggles
Yes, we're staying here

So psyched - close to school
vogueing gay boys, pride parade
Christopher Street = love

Sean: too lazy, cheap
to move - I say doors are so
overrated. Woo!

On things people search and find this blog.

Search "suck a tampax"
and you'll find this blog. I must've
written a gross one!

On what will happen if Em doesn't get her fix

images of Em
covered in Pinkberry goo
carted off to jail

On being nosy at work

A coworker reads
"The Daily Kitteh." Post says:
Shaboo getting better!

on the occasion of baby easter

Three babies had we.
not up to cesca's four, but
does an 8 year count?

On how I spent my easter sunday

baby filled easter
four to be exact, chasing
pets and plastic eggs

On sitting on 34th street after midnight

Waiting for three years
For parade of pachyderms
I am so bundled!!

On the outlook of this long weekend in Miami

Miami weekend

staying in house with nine cats

bet on allergies

On ongoing DOT misery

DOT guys shout
"honey!" "Sweetheart!" I want to
say: "Shut the fuck up!!!!!"

On the occasion of company meetings

At today's meeting
Champagne, chocolate strawberrys
New millions in bank

On tonight's Christopher Street shitshow

Sirens, rock music
jackhammers top it off. Fuck
you, DOT. DIE!!!!!

I have a headache
Snookie's got a cold. I miss
the vogue-ing gay teens!

Redefining loud
please go away, have to work
early tomorrow.

On the occassion of manual labor

Staring for hours
Watching construction workers
Like ants scurrying

Jack hammers tonight
Perhaps new asphault will show
Shiny street in morn?

it equals 17 syllables, ok? That counts.

Walking home from class
Left Gaska a voicemail -
Don't call me, call Cesca!

Damnit Cesca, why does your name have two syllables?

The haiku I tried to mail to the blog and failed

On a Saturday evening:


Shake shack has heat lamps
Madison park has wifi
My life is so good!

On the occasion of culinary edumification

No that guy in class
Thats ok, it's the teacher.
Cooking class tonight

Wait. HB's the one
Won't shut the f up
Like everyone else

Chef jane had some
Aphorisoms for us
They went as follows

Curry is evil!
Tamarind is obnoxious!
Broiler's terrorist!

On being recruited into the Smithie blogosphere

Smithieblogs love us
Anyone have objections?
I'm down with it!

Sean says "not Smithie"
I say you've been banging me
long enough. It counts.

The light at the end of the tunnel

Nine more hours, then
Done with midterms, no more work
Til its finals time

On an unexpected twist in my library school midterm

Prof said no name on
midterm - I thought no grade - wrong!
Need to cram tonight!

My boss says don't worry
But I realized something - You
can take the girl out

Of Smith, but you can't
take the striver out of the
Smithie. Word, bitches.

In celebration of my favorite Venezuelan

Coming to Parson's
Parties and pretty lights. YAY!
Cesca's coming here!

On the joys of gay male youth

to be a gay boy
hopeful, horny and cocky
in more ways than one

On the occasion of Snook getting to leave work early because his building is not a NYC landmark & kinda died inside

Lucky Snooker - his
office is busted - lucky!
went home to play wii

On the occasion of Sean revealing that he's been attacked by swarms of ladybugs

Snook, attacked by bugs
Red with black dots, envision:
attacked by cuteness

This one goes out to Cesca...

Where is my new pet?
The Pats lost, and you promised
Me a chinch - pay up!

Because I work on holidays...

To Whole Foods for lunch
Tuna-Pasta casserole
Chapin reminder.

On remembering last night's dream

Dreamed of Emily
Lost her legs in surgery
And became a dwarf

Not a haiku for the squeamish.

Yeast in my P and
some blood and Tampax too. It's
fun to be a girl!

On what people hear when I say my name

grande latte please
your name?, Francesca
Latte for Chestnut

On being one of those political rally dorks

a mile long line
he better be worth the wait
shiver in the cold

all alone in line
ditched for heat and food, I stay,
hoping to get in

Patrick, Kerry, Ted
and Caroline Kennedy
spoke for Obama

happy supporters
all pumped with idealism
to vote the next day

Written for my boss

Who's having computer trouble:

Ode to Bill Gates:

Who you do think you
are, Mister Big stuff? You suck.
and you smell like soup.

Your product’s a mess,
you’re as cool as hammerpants.
wish you had ipod?

We look down on your
computers, they break too much
they’re worth less than poo.



I can haz raise for using "hammerpants" in a haiku? Kthxbye

On a Giants victory

Made a drunken bet,
Cesca owes me a chinch, but
I'll still take her out

On Friday nights

Ten minutes left here
All my friends went home at five
Seconds are dragging.

on the occasion of poetry

&~
;{
-^+

50 hakiu points
to whoever figures it
hint: sticks to the rules.

Retaliation

Cesca smells like soup;
weird dimple, runny nose, and
I still really love her.

On how I feel when Em haikus about sucking her own butt hole

emily is gross
picks her butt, her teeth, her nose
still I love her so

On this afternoon's busy work

Logging tape makes me
want to suck my own butt hole.
Still more fun than class.

On wierd work etiquette

Why do people feel
the need to pluck their chin hairs
in the work bathroom?

On submitting my application

application in
now the waiting begins, back
to knitting and wii

On starting Monday densely

Metro Diary,
First entry makes no sense, why?
Must be too tired.

But on a fun note,
This is the one hundredth post
We're haiku masters!

on the occasion of dialog box editing

computer. it says
fuck that not cancel, OK.
but how to test it

On the occasion of new jeans

Washed my new jeans, but
my hands still turn blue, so gross.
Wrote this on toilet.

on the occasion of imbibing

even sicky drank
the homemade lemoncello
at the restaurant.

on the occasion of cat boxing

taco vs meatball
are you ready to rumbleeeeeee?
tiny boxing gloves!

on the occasion of digital sadness

crying self to sleep
guitar hero so lonely
cause cesca's not friends

OOO-DON

Lunch at CNN
Special: Make your own udon.
No screaming into phone.

on the occassion of guwiitar hero

cesca. come here soon.
but you must bring the guitar.
cuz battle mode sucks

because I can.

winter uniform:
no pants and legwarmers. I
feel so eighties. Yeah!!

Asher came on our couch

Asher, that's so gross
Napped on our couch, got up - EW!
he left a cum stain!

on the occassion of a visit from asher

puppy on the floor
so close to sleep, but now barks
will the whines not cease?

Wow, Cesca. Just wow.

Cesca's a big nerd.
But I still love her. Also love:
My new leg warmers.

On why I look tired

Wii-tar obsession
up till three to beat battle
fingers, wrists in pain

inspired by an IM to Sean

My ankles - they ache
Want to put on my warners
One more hour til home.

Dull haiku for dull evening plans

going to theatre
to focus lights for a show
then home to my bed

Because he said so

Snook says jump - therefore
I do. A poem about wii?
No. Just leg warmers.

I got new ones. Yay!
They're a little cashmere. Warm.
Good for the smankles.

on the occasion of MORE

More haikus needed
get up off of your asses
and post some poems

on a too-long haitus

Triumpant return!
Sadness a long hiatus.
Now - regular posts

On why I need to go get lunch

banana, yogurt,
clementine, and some water
do not a meal make

on the sad truth about vacations....

two week holiday
passes so quickly, dismay
back at work today